Archer Martin

Check out this video. It’s a live action Taliban Date!

Self-described as a “politically incorrect comedy network”, OURcountry.com is a new community which launched last month offering users comedy, games, networking, and user-generated video.

Basically, it’s kinda like YouTube without the blatant censorship. Or rich, eco-friendly owners who fly around in personal Boeing-767’s. Because we all know the environmentally-wicked conservatives pump out more emissions from their tree-slaying F150’s in a minute than a Google 767 does in a year. Ford should do something responsible, like get into the corporate jet making industry, or something.

Yeah.

Yaaaaawwwwnnn…

Oh. Sorry. The last thing I remember was watching James Cameron’s exciting, ground-breaking, Christianity-destroying news conference about finding Jesus’ tomb, and now I’m in front of my tv surrounded by dirty clothes and stray cats. What a time!

Speaking of time, Nancy Pelosi promised Congress would spend more of it working, and less of it stashing away $90,000 in freezers. Do you think she’s kept that promise? Her word is about as valuable now as Paris Hilton’s “virginity pledge” from middle school summer camp. No wonder the democrats trust Mahmoud Ackdaminjianabsahasb of Iran!

Finally, about Iran. After seeing it laugh at another U.N. resolution, the “world powers” have taken a tough stand:

A NEW RESOLUTION.

The Russian Foreign Minister was quoted as saying he was “concerned with more frequent talks by the U.S. regarding possible military strikes”, while The New Yorker detailed our “possible bombing plan” against Iran.

So, the U.N. is a bunch of wimps, Russia sides with Iran’s nuclear ambitions, and the New Yorker outs our military plans to the world.

I can obviously conclude from all of this that global warming is indeed the greatest threat to mankind.

Headline reads: “China censorship damaged us, Google founders admit“.

Good. I’m glad to see the dual-billionaire founders have finally admitted that covering up human rights crimes of communist China was a huge mistake.

Let’s keep reading…. “On a business level, that decision to censor…was a net negative”.

Um, ok…So he has trouble expressing emotion? Let’s go on…

“We always consider what we do…But I don’t think as a company we should be making decisions based too much on perception”.

So, basically, no, we won’t change our policy of covering up China crimes, because not only do we not care what is right or wrong, we don’t care what people think of us.

Unless, of course…it has to do with global warming. Says Brin, ” I was concerned about my private jet and what not…I wanted to offset what I did . ”

Here is a thought, Mr. Brin. I’m sure the emissions from the burning of dead chinese dissidents combined with the hot air which comes out of your mouth more than outweighs the gases your frequent 767 trips produce. So, here is how to “reduce your carbon footprint”:

1) Stop covering up for China. Expose their crimes.

2) Shut up.

For a greener world…

Big news today folks: Global warming is possibly linked to an enhanced risk of suicide.

This coming from Mr. A. Preti, psychologist, and author of some of the greatest research of our time, including the gem which states “reduction in prison overcrowding is a key issue which needs to be implemented to reduce the impact of suicide and self-harming behaviors in convicts “.

Thanks Einstein. I know this may be a huge shock to the liberals reading this blog, but being in close proximity to high-density populations of sex-starved male prisoners can actually lead to an increase in things such as suicide, voting democrat, and becoming a member of the Nation of Islam.

Oh, and before I forget about the warm weather making us want to cliff-dive, may I point out articles such as this from Slate which details how human mortality suffers most when it’s chilly outside. Articles like this one abound, but unfortunately, won’t get you money from Greenpeace, Al Gore, or Soros.

What’s a poor Italian professor to do?