Archer Martin

Not only is Bin Laden alive, but he also tried to kill Cheney?

In the world of the Taliban leader Mullah Dadullah, an attack planned against Cheney which didn’t even penetrate the base’s outermost defenses was a raging “success” as a result of Bin Laden’s “wise planning”.

There is kissing up, and then there is this. I think we can deduce from this story that Bin Laden is obviously not alive, because if he was, he’d behead Mullah Dadullah and feed him to his camels. It’s kinda like claiming to cure a cancer patient when all you did was give him an aspirin for his headache. I wouldn’t want to be that doctor!

FLASH! Devastating Moyers Probe of Press and Iraq Coming.

Hooray! Finally the press members have laid down their hammer and sickles in order to pick up the Red, White, and Blue. Right?

No.

The article begins: “The most powerful indictment of the news media falling down in its duties in the run-up to the war in Iraq will appear next Wednesday..on PBS.” It continues, ” While much of the evidence of the media’s role as cheerleaders for the war is not new…”

What? Cheerleaders? If by cheerleaders, you mean Carrie I might understand. Goodness, if the press loved the islamofascists anymore they may actually start saying Christians pose a greater threat than terrorists!

Well, she is the offspring of the leftist savior and his wench “happily wedded wife”, right?

I’ve gotta tell ya, James Cameron is ambitious. He has “found the tomb of Christ” complete with his kids’ tombs, and he expects to do what neither Satan nor the New York Times has been able to accomplish: destroy the foundation of Christianity.

Gosh, you’d think after Titanic he’d be too embarrassed to show his face in public again, but I guess he got lonely during his semi-retirement. There will be a news conference on Monday complete with the “coffin of Jesus” and free viagra for the press to celebrate.

Stay tuned!

Over 300 militants were killed in a single battle yesterday in Najaf, with 2 Americans killed in the process.

Goodness, that reeks of quagmire to me! Or, at least, that is what a August 2003 article, only 4 months after the initial invasion, seems to be pointing out.

Thanks to the incredible reporting by Time these past years, it’s no wonder a recent Harris poll announced ‘round the world Bush and the boys are getting beat up..or so the American people think.

With news like that, the only thing the mainstream media could do to help the enemy more is load their ammunition..And they would if they knew how!

Big news today folks: Global warming is possibly linked to an enhanced risk of suicide.

This coming from Mr. A. Preti, psychologist, and author of some of the greatest research of our time, including the gem which states “reduction in prison overcrowding is a key issue which needs to be implemented to reduce the impact of suicide and self-harming behaviors in convicts “.

Thanks Einstein. I know this may be a huge shock to the liberals reading this blog, but being in close proximity to high-density populations of sex-starved male prisoners can actually lead to an increase in things such as suicide, voting democrat, and becoming a member of the Nation of Islam.

Oh, and before I forget about the warm weather making us want to cliff-dive, may I point out articles such as this from Slate which details how human mortality suffers most when it’s chilly outside. Articles like this one abound, but unfortunately, won’t get you money from Greenpeace, Al Gore, or Soros.

What’s a poor Italian professor to do?

No big surprise here: Illegals in California are fearing deportation after the latest crackdown by authorities.

What may be surprising is the free and overwhelming usage of immigrant stereotypes in the article!

Try these on for size:

1) “Cook Rosa Maria Salazar’s eyes dart anxiously…as diners fingered maize tortillas stuffed with bean and pork scratchings..”

2) “The police took anybody..even guys who were hanging out in the street or in front of Jack in the Box”

3) “..the raids were alarming..said construction worker Remberto Flores…as he waited for a bus in a neighborhood of taco stands…”

Wow, the mainstream media is so compassionate. I wasn’t sure if I was reading an SNL skit or a white power website. I guess when you hold the keys to political correctness, you’re allowed to move the line around every now and then?

“Breaking News” from ABC News: Al-Qaeda in Iraq wants to strike the U.S. mainland. Nevermind that Needless Nancy Pelosi told us there was no Al-Qaeda in Iraq. Richard Clarke, the former counter-terrorism chief and ABC News Consultant who slandered the President for a buck, is quoted as saying “This appears to be the first hard evidence Al Qaeda in Iraq was trying to attack us here at home”.

If this is breaking news, I guess I can go ahead with that world exclusive blog post tomorrow about the Earth being round. You heard it here first!