Archer Martin

Yaaaaawwwwnnn…

Oh. Sorry. The last thing I remember was watching James Cameron’s exciting, ground-breaking, Christianity-destroying news conference about finding Jesus’ tomb, and now I’m in front of my tv surrounded by dirty clothes and stray cats. What a time!

Speaking of time, Nancy Pelosi promised Congress would spend more of it working, and less of it stashing away $90,000 in freezers. Do you think she’s kept that promise? Her word is about as valuable now as Paris Hilton’s “virginity pledge” from middle school summer camp. No wonder the democrats trust Mahmoud Ackdaminjianabsahasb of Iran!

Finally, about Iran. After seeing it laugh at another U.N. resolution, the “world powers” have taken a tough stand:

A NEW RESOLUTION.

The Russian Foreign Minister was quoted as saying he was “concerned with more frequent talks by the U.S. regarding possible military strikes”, while The New Yorker detailed our “possible bombing plan” against Iran.

So, the U.N. is a bunch of wimps, Russia sides with Iran’s nuclear ambitions, and the New Yorker outs our military plans to the world.

I can obviously conclude from all of this that global warming is indeed the greatest threat to mankind.

“Breaking News” from ABC News: Al-Qaeda in Iraq wants to strike the U.S. mainland. Nevermind that Needless Nancy Pelosi told us there was no Al-Qaeda in Iraq. Richard Clarke, the former counter-terrorism chief and ABC News Consultant who slandered the President for a buck, is quoted as saying “This appears to be the first hard evidence Al Qaeda in Iraq was trying to attack us here at home”.

If this is breaking news, I guess I can go ahead with that world exclusive blog post tomorrow about the Earth being round. You heard it here first!

In the spirit of freedom and protection of liberty, Wikileaks was launched recently by a group of international terrorists activists who intend to use it as a “safe haven for whistleblowers to upload confidential documents”. In other words, United States troop movements and emerging technologies, but without direct financial benefits.

I guess in that sense, I really admire these folks. After all, they aren’t into the money, they are just trying to destroy equalizing the United States nations of the world, much like President Bill Clinton when he lent a friendly hand to China with it’s satellite program.

Oops! He received $500,000 from the Chinese Army for that stunt? Bad analogy. I suppose the charity of Sandy Berger or Needless Nancy’s choice for Intel Chairman are far better examples of the high standards regarding national security I’ve come to expect from the Democrat party.