Archer Martin

Yaaaaawwwwnnn…

Oh. Sorry. The last thing I remember was watching James Cameron’s exciting, ground-breaking, Christianity-destroying news conference about finding Jesus’ tomb, and now I’m in front of my tv surrounded by dirty clothes and stray cats. What a time!

Speaking of time, Nancy Pelosi promised Congress would spend more of it working, and less of it stashing away $90,000 in freezers. Do you think she’s kept that promise? Her word is about as valuable now as Paris Hilton’s “virginity pledge” from middle school summer camp. No wonder the democrats trust Mahmoud Ackdaminjianabsahasb of Iran!

Finally, about Iran. After seeing it laugh at another U.N. resolution, the “world powers” have taken a tough stand:

A NEW RESOLUTION.

The Russian Foreign Minister was quoted as saying he was “concerned with more frequent talks by the U.S. regarding possible military strikes”, while The New Yorker detailed our “possible bombing plan” against Iran.

So, the U.N. is a bunch of wimps, Russia sides with Iran’s nuclear ambitions, and the New Yorker outs our military plans to the world.

I can obviously conclude from all of this that global warming is indeed the greatest threat to mankind.

Well, she is the offspring of the leftist savior and his wench “happily wedded wife”, right?

I’ve gotta tell ya, James Cameron is ambitious. He has “found the tomb of Christ” complete with his kids’ tombs, and he expects to do what neither Satan nor the New York Times has been able to accomplish: destroy the foundation of Christianity.

Gosh, you’d think after Titanic he’d be too embarrassed to show his face in public again, but I guess he got lonely during his semi-retirement. There will be a news conference on Monday complete with the “coffin of Jesus” and free viagra for the press to celebrate.

Stay tuned!