Archer Martin

As an esteemed member of the elite mainstream media, I am often privy to little-known but very important facts, including Chevron station deals on Diet Coke and dates of when the local bank gets a shipment of two dollar bills.

Today, however, I will be talking about the power play list. Unknown to all but a few, it ranks every display of power (power play) by an individual or nation. The list stretches into the trillions, but here is a sampling, ranked highest to lowest:

#1: August 6th, 1945: U.S.A. nukes Hiroshima
#3: June 6th, 1944: Allies invade Normandy
…
#236,923: March 31st, 2007: Archer Martin cuts in front of line of girl-scouts at the ice cream shop
#493,203,326: March 31st, 2007: Geraldine Ferraro “gets Hillary’s back” against “Republican dirty tricks”. No word about getting her back concerning Bill’s “dirty tricks”.
#2,833,269,920: March 31st, 2007: Archer Martin demands extra napkins from the owner of ice cream shop
#2,833,269,921: Late March, 2007: The Rumbling UK Response to Iran Kidnapping UK Marines

So, there you have it: the official list. If anyone asks, you didn’t get it from me.

Check out this video. It’s a live action Taliban Date!

Self-described as a “politically incorrect comedy network”, OURcountry.com is a new community which launched last month offering users comedy, games, networking, and user-generated video.

Basically, it’s kinda like YouTube without the blatant censorship. Or rich, eco-friendly owners who fly around in personal Boeing-767’s. Because we all know the environmentally-wicked conservatives pump out more emissions from their tree-slaying F150’s in a minute than a Google 767 does in a year. Ford should do something responsible, like get into the corporate jet making industry, or something.

Yeah.

Goes to me.

Why?

Because I’m dedicating a post to this story .

Gastric bypass is an expensive procedure, and in most cases, elective. In this story , the Chronicle detailed the woman’s fight to get the procedure done, only after she waited many years and hundreds of pounds to decide “it was time”. This was all greatly hindered by the fact she was a medicaid patient. For all of you bleeding heart liberals out there, medicaid means the doctor loses money to do the procedure, and accepts the risk that the medicaid population, while getting their procedure for free, is the population most likely to sue said physician if anything goes out of the ordinary.

People get gastric bypass to lose weight. There are arguments that the weight loss from the bypass is related to hormones and absorption of nutrients, but at the end of the day it’s about the limited amount of food you are then able to eat. Over-eating leads to increased weight, which leads to bone, heart, lung, kidney, liver, and vascular issues. These often form a “perfect storm” which lead to VERY SICK and VERY COSTLY patients.

Unfortunately, you won’t find this information in any article published by the mainstream media, whether it’s the fact that gluttony and lack of discipline are costing the healthcare system enormous amounts of money, taking away from those who truly need the care, or that in the end, doctors get the raw end of the deal when they accept Medicaid, ie, Universal Hellcare patients.

All you’ll get are stories of people, “fighting for their healthcare”, who can afford the food/cigarettes/cocaine/alcohol and peripherals it takes to reach critical status, and why the government should provide these services, regardless of charge or need of personal responsibility.

Reading these Chinese military press releases is like reading “The Confucius of Oz”, except the flying monkeys are Chengdu J-10’s and the way to safety involves repetition of Mao’s Little Red Book, not slippers.

China increased it’s military budget by 18% today, not including “weapons purchases and other key items”. As expected, the Chinese Legislature’s spokesman tells us that “China is committed to the path of peaceful development…and China does not and will not pose a threat to any country”.

Except, of course, the United States.

Mark Helprin, a senior fellow at the Clairemont Institute, writes an article today in the Washington Post titled “The Nuclear Threat From China”.

Wow! What a warmonger. Why won’t evil conservatives just leave China alone? If anything, the United States should allow other nations to flourish, while we limit our own destructive, patriarchal power.

If the dems win in ‘08, should I celebrate with Rosetta Stone Chinese Language software, or another handcranked radio/potassium iodide gift basket?

I want free gas and free food, and by free I mean paid for by the government.

And by the government I mean that rich doctor down the street. Look at him, driving around in his Mercedes sl500!

Well, I never actually see him, since he works about 80 hours a week, and I guess that isn’t a Mercedes, it’s a Toyota Corolla, but I know that the bastard is making $5 million a year for sitting around and flirting with nurses!

We need to punish these doctors. What we need is free healthcare, and Americans are demanding it.

If CBS prints a poll about Americans’ desires, it must be true, right? OK, so how about an article they printed on the same day, which details how a prescription drug benefit, not even complete healthcare, solely for senior citizens will bankrupt America?

I’m confused. CBS writes a puff piece pushing universal healthcare down our throats with one hand, and with the other hand prints a report from the top U.S. accountant explaining why a program which only covers a fraction of the population with universal healthcare won’t work financially.

Um…Hillary for President in ‘08?

Another “university” “professor” of “history” has pledged his allegiance to the enemy.

Julio “ASSad” Pino, who is well-known for his pro-islamofacist stances, was exposed yet again to the limelight with his “writings” on a terrorist networking website “jihadist news service”.

Taking the philosophical high road, the “university” history department head, John Jameson, said that while ASSad “provided news stories to the website”, he “didn’t accept any ownership of it” and that “the allegations…appeared to be blown out of proportion”.

I think that ASSad will be in good shape if Ohio has anything like the state of Florida. Remember “professor” Al-Arian? He was “defended by UFF”, United Faculty of Florida, in honor of his “academic freedom and tenure rights” for defending…

His pro-life stance on abortion? His preaching of the Christian gospel? His speaking out against gay marriage?

No. Leadership of a massive terrorist network.

P.S. Darn you Kent State “University” for making me use too many quotation marks in a blog post. I would tell you to stop hiring people who hate America, but I imagine that would cause a problem with professor recruitment!